All the sighs of disgrace, the impatient snaps, seem stupid and irrelavant now that I'm faced with the possibility of losing you. I think I lost you a long time ago, but it's different now, knowing that you're most likely not going to snap back into the old you. I love you, and I can't even bare the thought of you being unhappy. Of you being sick. Forever struggling to find yourself again. I literally push you from my mind, because I don't want to cry for the old friend you used to be.

I wish that I had laughed with you more, and we had bonded a little bit more. Because yes, you're still here, but it isn't the same. I miss my best friend.

I thought we were just growing apart, but it was the disease. It was taking you away from me. I let it win. I let your symptoms annoy me. I let it.  Sometimes I wish that it was just you who drew away, because then there would be hope of you coming back. But i'm so afraid that it's out or your control, and no matter how much you want to, you'll never be yourself again.

 Don't leave me, I ask you selfishly. I know you would be happier if you were away, but I wouldn't be able to funcion. I would lose my smile for a while. Please, don't let that happen.

Come Back.

Cherish EVERY.SINGLE.MOMENT.