Timing is Everything

Sometimes having faith means believing in what God thinks is right as well as when He thinks it's right.

And I'm trying to remember that, I swear I am.
But right now I need something, anything. At least I think I do.
I need to feel pretty.
I need to feel loved.
I need to feel worth something.

So I ran.
I ran to a hill in the middle of a field and I documented it. Because that's sort of all I know how to do.
"I'm sitting on this pile of dirt, and if it was a cliff I think I would jump.
Because this pile of problems in enveloping me and there is no way out.

But one day I'll be happy. I have to be, right?
I can't spend my life on this hill, with frostbitten fingers, waiting for the things I've always been promised by pop songs and Disney channel original movies.

I want to call my mom. I want to cry in her arms, but I'm too busy holding in her tears

And I want to scream, but I'm all alone out here in this field, and I plan to stay that way. Because if I scream the murderer will pop out of the shower curtain and the police will start to question my intentions

There is no such thing as trust anymore, because everyone backstabs everyone. And all the backstabbers pull out their knives but that doesn't heal the wound.
And we try and say it wasn't us, but our fingertips are on the blade, darling.

I'm sitting on a pile of dirt.
I wish it ended in the ocean."