Sometimes I wish I had stranger with a boom box follow me around, and when I gave him the cue, he played my soundtrack. He'd play whatever song best fit the mood and events surrounding me. And then, at the end of my life, I could remember moments with songs, moments of silence, and moments where I wish a different song had been played.
but finding someone for this full time job who isn't a creep seems too difficult to even attempt.
Lately I've found something out about myself. When I imagine conversations that have happened, I wish had happened, may happen, or I hope will happen I mouth the words that i imagine will be/were said. not only that, but I plaster the expression I imagine others having on my face.
I wonder if anyone watches the girl who talks to herself, odd facial expressions and all.
Today I didn't go to fourth period.
Instead, Ezra and I walked to the pond.
We stood on the frozen lake, and we walked through the paths. Talking and laughing. We stopped and I looked around, my breath was suddenly stolen from me. The pond was white and barely visible through the thickage, the dead trees surrounding us. Most snow had melted, leaving a few dirty patches on the muddy ground. I looked at Ezra and said, "It's Shockingly Beautiful"
And he said,
"I know, it's so ugly"
and that seemed like the perfect thing to say.
I wouldn't have been surprised if I found a camera crew following us, because today, my life felt like a movie.
ready, set, breathe
