I think that secretly all we want to do is fall in love. We can all pretend to be independent and self sufficient, but I think deep, deep down we're all waiting for that one person. They don't have to be perfect or even extremely good looking. I think it would just be nice to know that we're never alone.

Ok, Utah weather. It's time you and I had a little chat. You are not allowed to tease me like this! You give me one perfect weekend and then pour endless rain onto my head? Who does that? I even got slightly tan. A tan which, without regular exposure will surely fade. And then I will be back to my wonderful, ghostly self. Not that I mind.

Dear you,

I want you back. Just the way it used to be. Nothing complicated. Just you, making me smile.

Always,

Me

I am determined to make this summer a good one, maybe even the best one so far. Though I am not entirely confident that I have the ability to do so. Last summer was so incredible. I met most of my best friends. I met a beautiful boy and fell for him quickly. A boy, whom I would've bet you $1,000,000 dollars would never kiss me. (I bet you wish you would've taken that bet). I stayed out late and talked on the phone for hours. I climbed trees and laughed away my belly fat. I think I found myself. I am still discovering Emily Henson everyday, but I won't ever feel as unsure as I used to. Because I found out that I'm actually worth something, and that maybe, just maybe, I deserve to be just as happy as the rest of you.

It's Kind of a Beautiful Thing.

And then it was Summer, and the rest is history.

If i ever end up even close to the women on the bachelor please shoot me. thanks.

Last night after hours math homework ( which wasn't a waste of time or anything since I know for a FACT that every day when i grow up, people will be asking me what the cosine of a right triangle looks like on a graph and if i don't know...well that will just be plain embarrassing...) I sat down on the couch and casually flipped through the channels. I ended up watching the bachelor. and laughing. really hard.

mostly because how pathetically sad those women are.

they are all convinced that they love this "bachelor" and that they belong with him. Not like he's dating 10 other women or anything....and kissing them....and by the end sleeping with at least 3....yet they look at the camera and talk like all they want is this man, and to love him forever, meanwhile he's with another girl in a bikini on the beaches of Costa Rica.

when i find love, or love finds me, I'm going to know it's real.

an i promise never to live the lie, and tell myself that he loves me, when i know he doesn't. especially if he's sleeping with two other women, you know.

i'm still torn

between wanting to grow old with you

and wanting to stay young,

but it isn't really my choice.

so will you love me forever?

and will we sip tea on the porch 

and talk about the good old days?

call me darling and hold my hand. 

smile at me and tell me i'm beautiful. 

laugh your old man laugh

i'll smile my wrinkly smile.

who cares if we were influential in the world? 

who cares how much money we made?

as long as you're next to me, love,

i know we will succeed.