Discovering Eccentricity: blog

Monday, July 25

POST 100

I feel like this post should be full of deep thoughts and insightful paragraphs because it is my hundredth published post. But most likely it won't be.

Most likely I will say something about boys

Maybe I'll mention my friends

I'll probably say something extremely empowering like " I can do anything" even though I probably can't

I could even write something cornbally about how grateful I am to all my readers (all 2 of them)

You can bet I'll mention how much I hate Mr. Anonymous.

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It's kinda funny. Lots of people start blogs. For a lot of different reasons. And maybe I'm wrong, but I think that the only ones who keep writing are those who aren't doing it to tell everyone about their day or see how many followers they can get. I think that we keep going because we are writers, and this is what we love.

Cheers to the written word.

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Remember that time when we both starting looking for Ashton Kutcher at the same time, convinced we were being punked? That was the moment I knew my heart would be yours for a very long time.

P.s. Enjoy the ride, and hold on for dear life.

Tuesday, December 14

Cheers Darling

I sometimes feel unworthy to write on this blog. I constantly think of what I want to say, how I want to say it. Then somehow it seems, that someone else thinks it first, or at least they post it first. Then, if posted, my thoughts are merely replicas of others', in different words and with different vocabulary. I don't want to be a clone of someone else's insight. But keeping what I want to scream out inside seems horribly cruel to myself.

So here I am, screaming it anyway.

A lot of the time I go into a panic, wondering if people can read my mind. After thinking something mean, judgmental, or simply embarrassing I look up from my hands- which I am usually staring at- and look at everyone around me. If someone makes eye contact, or turns their head sharply from me, as if they were afraid I would catch them staring, my heart races and I freak out for a minute, before I tell myself that people can't hear my thoughts. No matter how many times I tell myself that, I still panic.

All Parents hold their kids back. Whether they know it or not. Some do it by pushing them too hard, forcing them into something that they don't want to do. Forcing them to practice for hours and hours, when really they'd rather be painting, or maybe writing. Some don't push hard enough, and their children, unmotivated, stay in the same place their entire lives. For me, I hold myself back. But I'm done.

I am giving myself permission:

To laugh really loud, even if I am alone
To hug a little longer, even if they let go first
To sing in front of people
To not wear any make up
To blog without stressing
To like the same bands as you
To like different bands
To sleep in
To give myself a break
To say yes when I want to say yes
To say no
To hurt your feelings
To keep trying
To fail
To collapse into your arms
To be selfish once in a while
To act on impulses
To forgive you
To cry once in a while
To be bold
To go swimming in the winter
To shout my opinion
To dance, however horribly
To sit closer
To not care about what you think
To be brutally honest
To let silence be silent
To be silly, and maybe a little immature
To never be ashamed
To turn off the televison
To go back to sleep so I can dream
To read for hours and hours
To highlight things
To watch lifetime movies and eat ice cream
To ask questions
To stop playing games
To grow old
To go against everyone's advice, and take my own

Because I deserve to

That's Why

Cheers to a new me