It's kind of emotionally draining

In that moment, you realized he was a human. Humanity isn’t about morals and rules, it’s about the feeling you get when you look at another person, I mean, really look at them. And you realize that all the emotions and thoughts that run around your mind are running around theirs.

Maybe one day I'll be completely free

Sometimes I wish I had stranger with a boom box follow me around, and when I gave him the cue, he played my soundtrack. He'd play whatever song best fit the mood and events surrounding me. And then, at the end of my life, I could remember moments with songs, moments of silence, and moments where I wish a different song had been played.

but finding someone for this full time job who isn't a creep seems too difficult to even attempt.

Lately I've found something out about myself. When I imagine conversations that have happened, I wish had happened, may happen, or I hope will happen I mouth the words that i imagine will be/were said. not only that, but I plaster the expression I imagine others having on my face.

I wonder if anyone watches the girl who talks to herself, odd facial expressions and all.

Today I didn't go to fourth period.

Instead, Ezra and I walked to the pond.

We stood on the frozen lake, and we walked through the paths. Talking and laughing. We stopped and I looked around, my breath was suddenly stolen from me. The pond was white and barely visible through the thickage, the dead trees surrounding us. Most snow had melted, leaving a few dirty patches on the muddy ground. I looked at Ezra and said, "It's Shockingly Beautiful"

And he said,

"I know, it's so ugly"

and that seemed like the perfect thing to say.

I wouldn't have been surprised if I found a camera crew following us, because today, my life felt like a movie.

ready, set, breathe

To infinity, and Maybe even Beyond

I walked around wal mart, but it could've turned into Wonderland I would have hardly noticed, that is if i realized the change at all.  The Perks of Being a Wallflower held slightly infront of my face. I held it at an angle so that i could just barely see my dad's legs and know where to walk and not run into strangers. I could have passed you yesterday, and maybe you thought, "who is that weird girl with her nose in a book?" I wouldn't know, because i made no effort to make eye contact or acknowledge the presence of anyone other than fictional characters. Were you at Wal Mart last night?
All I cared were the words. That's all. Especially these ones, 
"And in that moment, I swear we were infinite."
Now all I want is to feel infinite. To feel forever, never ending.I don't know how I am going to accomplish this feeling, but I will.


I went home and played the piano. I let my fingers speak to the keys, and let a song form. I only stopped playing to eat and think a little, and of course to get my fill of The Perks of Being a Wallflower.


I believe I barely spoke 10 sentences that day.


I was just readying, thinking, and playing. 


And I don't regret one minute.

Ready, Set, Strive for Infinity.

We have a map of the piano, but not life

Things I wish that I knew

• Where life will take me
• Who life will take me to
• When will life take me there
• What life will make of me

But I guess if I knew that, then life would no longer be an adventure. It would be a mapped out schedule. A forever long to do list. And where is the fun in that?
Nonexistent, that's where.

So lets live with no regrets, let's make mistakes, and lets stand for what we stand for, always and forever.

Give up on trying to plan every second, because most likely it will all blow up in your face, and then you won't know how to cope with an unmapped world. If you don't educate yoursefl on the art of chance, one day you'll be forced to make a desicion based on instinct, and ou will freeze, because it is so foreign


Ready, Set, Be spontaneous in everything you do.

Sometimes I think

Everyone has a reason for the dark circles under their eyes. A story behind every tear they may cry.

 Somebody hold me while I mourn for my lost childhood, i'm torn between wanting to grow old  with you and wanting to stay young. You're the reason that I breathe, if you promise to stay with me, I promise I won't leave those tears in your eyes, I'll be your shoulder as you cry. One day you'll leave me all alone, when my childhood is gone. I'll wait for you to come back, though I know you'll never come. But maybe we'll stay together, Maybe our love will be forever. We can stand the tests of time, hand in hand we'll slowly climb. Because who will read the stories of your dark circles, who will know the reason behind your tears. I will, if we but last the years. Darling for now we'll wish away the fear.

 ready, set, fall in love

Hey, I Just Passed My Floral Design State Test

Ready, Set, Make a Snow Angel

I'd like to take a moment to thank our sponsers...oh wait.....

Really though, I'd like to take a moment to talk about the things that keep me going in life, mainly; music, friends, newspapers, family, and possibilities.

1. Music. 

Where to even begin? Maybe with the fact that Nathan had my ipod for a single day and all of a sudden my life seemed stressful and incomplete. I play music when I'm in the shower and when i get dressed. I sing along to the radio everytime i'm in the car. And I get frustrated when people refuse to listen to music because it is "mainstream". i mean I get it, most of the music on the radio is crap, but that doesn't mean it isn't fun to dance and sing too. I wonder if indie music were mainstream, and Kesha and BoB were indie, which one people would listen to?

Is it really about the song, or the label its given?

2. Friends

I know I talk about them enough. But it's my second family, I love them dearly. There is always an empty feeling inside when one doesn't have close friends. Even the popular girl can feel completely and utterly alone. 

3. Newspapers

Today I explained to Carpenter and the editors how I think the school newspaper should be handled. I will be appointed editor in cheif, and the entire school will be forced to read the holy newspaper. Jk, but really, I think sjome changes will be made in the near future, and I am super excited to say the least.

I love the look of a Newspaper, the black and white, the miles of text, the stories behind each one. And to be part of making one, if it is decent, is incredible.

4. Family

My family is, in a nutshell, the light of my entire existence. Bella with her wrinkly eyed smile and mischievous laugh. I never knew someone so small could have a sense of humor. Ethan with his random movie quotes and intelligent comments. My mom with her excited squeaks and general oddness. Actually, the general oddness thing applies to the entire family, fortunately.

5. Possibilities

The fact that anything is possible, and yes i do believe that, gives me hope when all hope is stolen away from me. Change brings with it a sense of chance, because if you don't like the way something is, you can change it. If you don't think you can, change your attitude. It is possible.

Ready, Set, Blog.

Un Regreting

I don't like regrets, so I'm choosing not to  have any.

It's not that I am now going to think that everything I do is perfect, and I know I don't always make the right choice. But its time to get over it. Apologize if needed and don't dwell on it. It's not worth my thoughts.

No more I should have.

No more I shouldn't have.

Just I did.

I am glad that I stage dived onto two love sacks, even if it only gave me a bloody nose.

 See, normally I would probably regret it, but hey, it's a story to tell, right? (and it makes me sound like a weirdo, but that is beside the point)

also, i refuse to feel blank.

blank and useless is a horrible feeling.

so i write, then the paper is filled, and no longer blank.

I thought that what I was waiting for was never going to happen, like waiting for an American to be born with and English accent. But it happened.  After all those people told me to give up, to let go, it happened. And I couldn't be happier. For this and for so much more, I would like to thank Ms. Reese, my 9th grade English teacher.

She assigned us a last minute Romeo and Juliet project. We had to work in groups, and I was left without a group, feeling awkward and like everyone in the entire world was staring at me. Instead of asking my friends I had in that class if I could join them, I felt an impulse to ask Brooklyn, Tesa, and Kelly if I could join their group. I got up the courage and acted on it. We made a music video, and ended up asking Parker, Dane, Gabe, and Zack(a stranger at the time) to be in our movie with us. They all became some of my closest friends, and through them I met some of the most important people in my life. One of those people is my best friend, one is my boy toy ;). Because of these people I moved to Alpine and transferred to Lone Peak.

I finally feel like I'm where I belong.

Thank you Ms. Reese.

one more thing,

1. I need to tell you something, look at 11

2. It's really important that you know, so look to 8

3. I'm just going to say it. Look at 13

4. Last one I promise, look to 9.

5. It's coming, I promise, go to 14

6. I'm just nervous, I'll tell you, at 3

7. I'm working up the courage, look to 10

8. I know, I know. You're getting angry. look at 12, you're almost there.

9. I just want to tell you that I love you

10. Alright, here it comes, at 15

11. I'm going to tell you, go to 6

12. Just look at 4.

13. I know, you're probably getting bugged, go to 7

14.You're almost there, now look at 2

15. Be patient, look at 5

As a Jello lid once told me,

Ready Set Jiggle.