I owe it all to you.

I'm going to spare all of you from the dramatic and idealistic ramble that I am dying to write.
Best Sadies Ever.
It was absolutely perfect.

15760 Words

And then there were none

eccentricity[ek-suhn-tris-i-tee, ek-sen-]-

1.an oddity or peculiarity, as of conduct: an interesting man, known for his eccentricities.

2.the quality of being eccentric.

3.the amount by which something is eccentric.

I'm losing followers by the second. They're dropping like flies. One by one. And then there were 17...and any other cliches you can think of.

Am I really that annoying? Not that it surprises me, really. But in order to raise my self esteem i've tried my hardest to come up with logical reasons that people stopped liking my blog. It could be that their google accounts were deleted ( not really. who would delete a google account??) They could be jealous of my extreme charm and lack of awkwardness ( i kid) or they may just not relate to me/ know who I am at all.

Hence the following:

Hi, my name is Emily. 

I brush my teeth 4-6 times per day. So if you see me at school with a toothbrush in my mouth, stay calm and try not to be too alarmed. If I could walk around brushing my teeth all the time, I probably would. The only probably I foresee is that it will look like i'm foaming at the mouth. Call me rabies girl.

I write a lot. It's probably unhealthy. You know that weird girl who sits in the back and is constantly writing furiously in her " revel in the chaos" notebook? that would be yours truly.

I have quite a few best friends. But secretly, only one. Rachel Brough, this one is for you. Thanks for letting me be as creepy/weird/crazy/scary/loud/annoying/self-pitying as I want. It's pretty rare, it think, what we have. ( wow, it sounds like we're dating. that would explain all the lesbian jokes)

I'm unforgettable, fine, fresh, fierce, etc. ( Yes, I did just reference Katy Perry) I may have gone to high school in Utah, but I will always tell you I'm from California. It's home. It's me.

I try to love my little siblings unconditionally, and as you mothers out there know, it shocks me how much I learned about love from them. Our perception of love is so screwed up. It isn't about you. It's always about them, seeing them smile and stopping them from crying. Eth and Bella, I love you more than you can ever know.
 

I don't do my hair. Ever. Unless you consider throwing it into a sloppy mess on top of my head "doing", I guess. It's frizzy and messy and teal on the ends.

you: "Hey, emily do you care?"

me: "No! In fact, I do not. Thank you for asking."

I'm trying my best. I screw up 99% of the time, but I'm still doing all I can to make the world a little bit better. I try to look you in the eye and be as honest as possible. I try to smile at you when I see you because I'm genuinely happy to have you in my life, not just because that's the polite thing to do.  I'm just a girl lost in this world, trying to be happy.

Thanks for following.

-M

 

Edward Sharpe isn't even his real name.

It's your birthday. I feel like I should call you, but I won't. I'll write on your wall instead.

Last night was edward sharpe and the magnetic zeros.

Cons

• Having to call Rosie's mom to put my camera in her car because there are no "professional cameras" allowed.
• Having to dump out my ice cold mango juice and replace it with room temperature water (probably filled with drugs)
• Looking down periodically and realizing again that I now have blue hair.
• Standing for what seemed like an eon waiting for The Entrance Band to get off the stage.
• Standing for what seemed like a few centuries waiting for Edwarde Sharp to come out.
• Being shoved
• Being push
• Being groped by some drunk man
• Not kissing the really-cute-kissing-kid
• Taking a picture of people kissing....(it was awkward?)
• Etc, etc.
• Worst Day EVER

Pros

• Getting to be pretty dang close to the front because we stood for so long and slowly moved up
• Standing next to some people are own age for a change.
• Doing extremely creepy things to/with them
• Mosh.
• Joining in on other peoples fist pump clumps ( i don't know what else to call it)
• The music. Oh my, the music.
• Being the first one in my area to realize that he was singing Lean on Me.
• Singing Lean on Me by myself for a few.
• The entire crowd singing Lean on Me.
• Home
• Punching annoying Utah kid
• Telling everyone to move aside because I'm a rebel with blue hair
• Etc, etc.
• BEST.DAY.EVER.

in memory

Two reasons I love the word 

Reason number one: it happens to be my favorite season. there is no school and *almost* no responsibility. its warm and i can wear sunglasses.

Reason number two: my super hip young women's leader. who found my blog. her name? that would be SUMMER

and if thats not good enough for you....i don't know what would be

"Will you recognise me?
Call my name or walk on by
Rain keeps falling, rain keeps falling
Down, down, down, down

Hey, hey, hey, hey
Ohhhh.....

Don't you forget about me, don't don't don't don't"

I remember a time when my biggest fear was that I would go to that school, away from all my friends and almost everyone who meant anything to me and they would all forget about me. They said they wouldn't, some even went as far as to promise. I wonder if they misunderstood what I was saying. Never did I believe that one day in the near future I would walk up to them and say, "Hi, I'm emily, and we used to be best friends" only to receive blank stares and quizzical looks in return. No, they will never forget that I existed unless they become ill or have serious brain damage. I was simply afraid that one day they'd hear my name and realize that they haven't thought of me in days, weeks even. One day maybe they would refer to me as a girl they once new. One day, they would forget. And no matter how hard we tried, it still happened, didn't it?

I fancy that.

-M

I simply remember my favorite things.

Today was Bella's birthday party, which my mom and I obviously took way to seriously, spending hours making cutesy banners and crowns. 

The piñata was nearly impossible to break and took a few strong men a few tries to spill the candy all over the front porch. But of course we don't regret buying the giant, sturdy, absurd Little Mermaid Piñata at the Mexican Market, because it definitely made for a few good laughs and more than a few classic pictures.

She got her first bike and automatically started writing like a pro. This fact disproved my theory that I was secretly adopted; she is definitely my sister. 

Despite the WEATHER,

I woke up in a wonderful mood today, and I think I'll share my cheesy thoughts with you, if you don't mind. I woke up and began to pray and felt this overwhelming sense of gratitude for these strangers that I call my family. They are my life. We're odd and eccentric. My mom squeels when she gets excited and my dad starts a new business about every 3 weeks. My sister is sarcastic(all in good fun), short, and makes me want to grow up and live. My brother is strong. He is geeky and slightly weird....and does a mean Indian accent. Me, I'm sort of still figuring that out. Little Ethan is a genuine genius. He is loving and loud and will definitely be a millionaire one day. Annabella is full of spunk and personality. She has the power to change the world.

And somehow we all fit together perfectly.

I think that secretly all we want to do is fall in love. We can all pretend to be independent and self sufficient, but I think deep, deep down we're all waiting for that one person. They don't have to be perfect or even extremely good looking. I think it would just be nice to know that we're never alone.

Ok, Utah weather. It's time you and I had a little chat. You are not allowed to tease me like this! You give me one perfect weekend and then pour endless rain onto my head? Who does that? I even got slightly tan. A tan which, without regular exposure will surely fade. And then I will be back to my wonderful, ghostly self. Not that I mind.

Dear you,

I want you back. Just the way it used to be. Nothing complicated. Just you, making me smile.

Always,

Me

I am determined to make this summer a good one, maybe even the best one so far. Though I am not entirely confident that I have the ability to do so. Last summer was so incredible. I met most of my best friends. I met a beautiful boy and fell for him quickly. A boy, whom I would've bet you $1,000,000 dollars would never kiss me. (I bet you wish you would've taken that bet). I stayed out late and talked on the phone for hours. I climbed trees and laughed away my belly fat. I think I found myself. I am still discovering Emily Henson everyday, but I won't ever feel as unsure as I used to. Because I found out that I'm actually worth something, and that maybe, just maybe, I deserve to be just as happy as the rest of you.

It's Kind of a Beautiful Thing.

And then it was Summer, and the rest is history.